"Did you see that? It just flew right up my nose!"

So yesterday I got lectured for about two hours by my uncle just to come to the blatant conclusion that he's a condescending, bigot. I hate living here with these people, relatives or not. I'm not adept to living with people anymore.

I hate having money and not being able to spend it on myself because I have to pay endless, piles of bills.

After the lecture I popped two Xanax and went straight to Ryan B.'s house and got stoned. I realize I only go and do these "bad things" when I feel like shit. I don't plan on making it a habit though.

I took the bottle of Xanax my mom mailed me this week with me to his house and I counted out a total of 79. For A lark I asked Ryan if he knew anyone that would trade some for something else and he asked his coke dealer if he would trade 40 Xanax for a gram of blow and he said yes.

I left around eight to go home and take a nap and woke up after ten, I texted Ryan but he still hadn't made the trade by this time. I tried to have him abort the mission but he had already left to meet the guy.

A little after 11:30 my aunt comes into my room and kisses me goodnight on my cheek, like I'm some wayward child who needs love and attention.

Then when everyone is going to sleep next thing I know I'm sneaking out the side gate of my house to go do some of "my blow" with some dude and Ryan, in the dude's car. Fucking lame. I didn't want to share it with anyone but Ryan. Now I only have about 3 lines left at the most because they probably snorted it all before they came to my house. I'm never trading my Xanax for blow ever again. This what I get for associating with druggies. Fucking fail.