The best part of this sad, story, is that all these ill feelings and anger I feel towards him, could have all been avoided if he had just thought twice before doing and saying what he did and said yesterday! I blame him for this because he fucked up, big time.
This is how it started. Sunday night we drove back home from San Diego. I really wanted to stay but chose to leave with him because I assumed his feelings would have gotten hurt if I hadn't left with him. (Next time, I am doing whatever I want to do and I'm not going to care about other people's feelings anymore. Everyone is selfish and self-centered anyways!)
So anyways, Monday afternoon comes around and I get a phone call from Matt he's asking me what I'm going to do today and I tell him I don't know yet. So then he tells me he and his friends are going to a BBQ for Jason's b-day at Jason's parent's house. So I tell him, "I want to go, that sounds like fun." Then he tells me that Jessie is going to be there and that he doesn't think it would be a good idea if I went. Then that's when all hell broke loose. I immediately got pissed off because basically, I felt he was disrespecting me by not wanting me (his girlfriend) to be with him at the BBQ because it would make him and Jessie feel awkward. First off, I don't think he should give a shit how she feels! He's always complaining about her and telling me she won't leave him alone, so I can't understand why her feelings mean something to him all of a sudden!!!
Then he tells me that he knew I would react this way and that he shouldn't have even told me and that at least he did tell me because he could of just lied to me about. I tried to kid myself into thinking he was right that I would have felt extremely uncomfortable. But when I went to Amy and PJ's house and I talked to Amy about she even sided with me and felt that what Matt did was disrespectful to me because my feelings should matter to him, not Jessie's!
So I called him later that night to see what he was doing and if he had left the BBQ already and he said he was still there and that it went good, then he says, "I'm glad you didn't go, it worked out better this way." After he said this I felt like I got slapped in the face. I immediately got angry again. It's almost like he could give a shit how I feel or what I think. I don't understand how he couldn't have even thought for even a slight second that that, last comment would have hurt my feelings! Like hello, is he completely brain dead?! Then I started to tell him again, what I texted him that I feel disrespected and that he let Jessie win and he cut me off and said I don't want to argue with you about and basically threatened to hang up on me.
So I gave up and he changed the subject and asked me when I was leaving PJ and Amy's house and I said not anytime soon so I told him I would call him when I was leaving or something like that. When I was leaving I called and he told me he was at Zach's house and that he might leave or something like that and for me to call him when I'm near Zach's house. So I called him when I was on Mountain and 16th Street and I ask him, "What are you doing? Oh, I'm in the hot tub with my three friends." When I heard that I got pissed again, so I told him, "Oh, okay. Well I'm going home right now and I'm really tired so I just going to go to sleep, I'll talk to you tomorrow." and he said, okay and we said bye.
Then I get a text message from him that says, "I don't like the way you're acting at all. Spent the weekend with you and you get all butt hurt when I decide to sit in a spa with three other dudes." Ignored his text message and his phone call almost an hour later because, A) I didn't want to argue and B) It was already one in the morning by this time.
So when I woke up this morning I immediatley called him and it went straight to voicemail. So then I texted him, "Sorry, I missed your call I was really tired and I knocked out. So don't me mad!"
It is now 10:11 p.m. and he has yet to call or text me back....
I have talked to three people today about this whole situation and everyone thinks either he's wrong and he disrespected me, I should break up with him because there's already drama too soon, and that he's confused and wants to have his cake and eat it too.
I plan on having a serious talk with him whenever I see him this week. This is what I plan on telling him, "This whole situation could have been avoided if you had just been honest and hadn't sprung the news on me last second on Monday afternoon. If you had told me in San Diego, "Hey, I got invited to a BBQ for Jason but Jessie is going to be there too, so I think it would be best if you didn't go because it'll make it awkward for the three of us." I would have been a little irritated but would have been okay with it and I would have just stayed in San Diego with my friends. So you have no one to blame but yourself for what's going on right now."
Also I want to hear a reason as to why he never called me or texted me back today. You know what...I don't even want to hear what he's going to say. Or what excuses he's going to come up with. I'm so over trying to see his side of the story and trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's over. I don't know why I didn't see this coming.
So when he calls me and he agrees to see me in person, I'm going to say what I want to say (or just tell him on the phone if it comes down to it) and then I'm breaking up with him and that will be the end of that. There's plenty of fish in the sea. I'm sick to death of his bullshit and I'm not going to take it anymore.
I'm not under your thumb, Matt Trejo!
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