8:52 on a Saturday night.

I'm bored, full of food and I'm spending too much money on trying to fill up the void that's inside of me with material objects...which is sad to admit but it's totally true.

Sure I've replaced my old wardrobe with a new one by buying clothes. But smoking pot or drinking; it doesn't fill the void that's still inside and it never will.

Technically, I don't "need" a boyfriend but it'd sure be nice to have a warm body to sleep next to at night, instead of a cat. And I'm not just saying it'd be nice because I'm a nympho, it's nice to find another human being (especially one of the opposite sex) that I actually respect, find attractive and have mutual hobbies + music in common. That's hard to find in the Inland Empire and the Los Angeles County!

No one understands how it feels to be single like me.

Everyone is joined at the hip with their spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends I'm noticing. Jess and Clint, Nick and Robert, Amy and Glenn, Shannon and her bf. Even ugly people have bf's and gf's and I can't seem to find one. Am I socially awkward? Am I too open? Too arrogant? I don't know. I wish I could meet a perfect stranger and talk to him and then ask him after what his impression of me is. I wish I knew what the hell happened with John Rogan. I wonder if I scared him away.

I'm such a complainer. But my mother called me tonight when I was at dinner with Nick and she brought up John and then when I got home from the downtown Pomona Nick was kidding around and said something about online dating which made me sad and think about John once again.