Fuck you too.

I just went online last night and posted on here and while I did that an email of Warren's popped up on the right hand corner of the screen for POF so I guess he's back on there and I look at some more of his emails. He's changed the password to his gmail account so I won't be able to see it anymore.

This is really happening. These tears falling down my face are really real. This is not some nightmare I can wake up from and forget as I go about my day. This is my real life.

Yesterday when I went to the bathroom and I noticed a small corner of a piece of toilet paper was stuck to the wall with some unknown substance that was wet and sticky at one time and is now dried onto the wall.

That was real, I really encountered it. It's still there and this morning when those weak thoughts came into my head that I miss and still love him, I told myself, " Look at that piece of toilet paper still stuck to the wall."

I have seen that same thing before in the past. A sliver of a piece of toilet paper and it was stuck to the wall too and I just removed and cleaned it off the wall tricking myself into believing that it wasn't a big deal.

He left to the market and he has made it to where you need to login to his computer in his room so I won't be able to see what he's up to and what he's doing on there. There was a folded up piece of paper on his desk and I read some of it. It's basically to help someone figure out where Sexual Addiction comes from and "Characteristics of Sex and Love addiction".

I would be a little happy but knowing that he's back on POF and knowing that it's only been a day maybe a little longer since we broke up hurts me to my very core. I want to scream, cry, do something that shows all the pain and hurt I'm currently feeling. But I can't do any of that stuff. I can cry myself to sleep tonight but what good will that do nothing. Nothing at all. I want to take drugs and drink until I pass out but then I still have to deal with my life after I come out of my stupor and I don't know if I can deal with all these hours.